I'm becoming increasingly self-aware and it's nothing short of scary. What I'm referring to are the many moments throughout a day that I find myself needing things to be "just so".
There's something that I gain from certain mundane details being carried out in a way that I expect and approve of. There's a comfort in it.
It's worth mentioning that I almost scrapped this entire post. Though, sitting back and thinking about what I'm saying, it seems that these must be feelings that we all experience to some degree.
Sure, some of us lead more routine lives than others. And though I wouldn't describe my life as routine, I do find comfort in having an outline by which I can fill in the blanks.
Today I know I'm working. From home, but working nonetheless. I know I have two treatment plans to write, and that I'll likely be done with both before noon. At some point today I need to find time to pick up a few odds and ends at the grocery store. I need to eat. And I know already what I'll be having for at least two of my three meals.
I've always liked plans. I'm not very spontaneous, though I'm seldom without an activity to occupy at least part of each day. I'm sure some of this need for planning comes from anxiety. Though I'll be the first to tell you that having some anxiety can be beneficial. At least, it has been for me. Fueled by a small amount of anxiety, I'm able to manage my time, plan ahead and be prepared for whatever the day may bring.
With any luck, I'll find some time in my day to plan for a better blog post tomorrow.
DK
Three cheers for functional, non-neurotic anxiety. I could probably do with more of it myself.
ReplyDeleteQuick comment on your Genesis entry (as I did not see an available button to post comments to it): I do, from time to time, miss the long-form nature of full "blogs". As you may remember, I was a LiveJournal fiend from about 2004 to 2008. I agree that the knee-jerk, bite-size responses that immersive social networks like Facebook tend to elicit can be less illuminating than forums such as this one. Thanks for making it hip again. Looking forward to those MickThoughts of yours!
Thanks, Mike.
ReplyDelete